Not so bad... but not so good

Well I can say I wasn't that bad. Portion control and homemade meals, No fast food! That was my week. I walked and worked out ( a lil) but I still did it. It's a new day to a new week. I didn't eat so well this morning but the rest of the day is up to me. I know I can do it. I'm done putting myself down too, I am my own worst enemy. I judge myself and punish myself so bad, I put myself into depression. No more though the first step is to remember that I'm not doing anything that will physically hurt me. Eating a bad meal is not going make me gain 100 lbs. As long as I keep up my walking and work out routine I will be fine. Keeping my head up and my mind clear of negative thoughts I will have a great week.

Such a hard road!

So since my last blog things haven't been going as well as I had hoped. I fell off the diet. Hard! On Friday we had sushi, not so bad, but then Saturday came along and oh boy my hubby got a craving, and what happens when he gets a craving? I eat too, ladies and gentlemen I am a foodaholic and I ate a personal Jerseys pizza to myself. I mean it was a personal so I didn't help my hubby devour an entire large pizza. But the worst thing was when I had finished half of it I was full. But did I stop noooooo I kept eating until it gone. Oh man the guilt that came along with it was horrible. But did that get me back on track? Of course not, I continued up until last night eating. We don't have the finances to go shopping right now so I ate all the old stuff we didn't get rid of. Frozen breaded shrimp, cereal, cream of wheat, 2 chocolate donuts at my parent, and then I had my one true weakness coffee! I sure did suffer from the after affect with a ridiculous amount of heartburn. I woke up this morning though hitting myself in the head from falling off so bad. I still worked out but not as hard as I should. Making excuses of why I don't want to do so much. But I am turning this guilt into motivation. I was once told if you do something the same for 30 days it becomes easy, like a routine. So I am getting back on track! Here we go again. Let's try not to let our addictions get us down anymore.

Yummy blog!

So it's been 2 weeks since I started this diet, had 1 weekend of splurging but I have been able to stay on track since then. Walked everyday and managed a trip to the gym. Now only if they would make it free to join I could go everyday. My last blog I put a yummy fish and asparagus recipe. We had it for 2 days but yesterday I was stressed to the max. And what do us food addicts do when we are stressed? Comfort eat. Buuuut I only splurged on a Panera's Cheddar and Jalapeno bagel with a personal cream cheese (I did not use it all, maybe about half). I was craving tacos, bad, I wanted some fresh yummy salsa all over a crunchy tortilla filled with guacamole, cheese and shredded chicken. So I found an improvision. I made an amazing taco salad.

1/2 lb ground chuck from Clark's (I usually eat ground turkey but I get nervous when there are E.Coli outbreaks)

1/2 packet of McCormick taco seasoning
1 whole beef steak tomato
1/2 avocado
Salsa for dressing
Romaine lettuce
1 cup of yellow corn niblets - which I forgot to put in :(


Brown the meat then drain the fat (you can even rinse off the meat to get the extra fat off) Mix in the taco seasoning and follow the directions on the packet. Cut your others veggies and serve.

This recipe fed me and the hubby and we had left over meat, you can double it for a larger family though. This dinner was only 455 calories, and it filled me up the rest of the night. I am on a 1,000 calorie diet. I hate to count but with a website called SparkPeople.com I can put all of my food in and it calculates all the food for me. I suggest using this site if you have a hard time keeping track.

Ohhhh yumm... this was good

So today was a good day. I ate and ate and ate, buuuuut it was all good stuff and it actually only ended up being 890 calories for my whole day. I just ate fruits and veggies and snuck in1 single piece of dark chocolate. For dinner I found a great recipe. It was chili-rubbed white fish (recipe suggests tilapia but I used white ruffy) and asparagus. Then for desert I had yogurt topped with fresh blueberries. Everything was purchased at Trader Joes (I absolutely love that store!) So here's the recipe. Super easy and delicious!

• 2 pounds asparagus, tough ends trimmed, cut into 1-inch pieces
• 2 tablespoons chili powder
• 1/2 teaspoon garlic, powder
• 1/2 teaspoon salt, divided
• 1 pound tilapia, Pacific sole or other firm white fish fillets
• 2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
• 3 tablespoons lemon juice

1.Bring 1 inch of water to a boil in a large saucepan. Put asparagus in a steamer basket, place in the pan, cover and steam until tender-crisp, about 4 minutes. Transfer to a large plate, spreading out to cool.

2.Combine chili powder, garlic powder and 1/4 teaspoon salt on a plate. Dredge fillets in the spice mixture to coat. Heat oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Add the fish and cook until just opaque in the center, gently turning halfway, 5 to 7 minutes total. Divide among 4 plates.

3. Immediately add lemon juice, the remaining 1/4 teaspoon salt and asparagus to the pan and cook, stirring constantly, until the asparagus is coated and heated through, about 2 minutes. Serve the asparagus with the fish.

This was really good, since I was only cooking for 2 1/2 lol I cut the recipe in half and it turned out great. Repeating this tomorrow night, then the following night having Jerk-chicken with mashed sweet potatoes. Yummy!!

It's time to do this! No really! I'm going to this! REALLY (well hopefully)

OK, I know, I have been here before, telling myself this is it, this is the time I am going to shed all this weight. This weight that exausts me, depresses me, makes me feel disgusting, and this may be TMI for some but honestly makes me feel like never having sex with my wonderfully sexy husband (who in turn hasn't gained a pound since high school). But I want it all back. I'm taking it back this is my body!!! I want to be around for my child (and future children), I no longer want to feel to tired to get up and take my son to a park. I currently weigh 190. This heaviest I have ever been. I am only 5'0'' so take into account that according to the doctor I am "obese". Yuck what a horrible word. In order to be a normal weight I need to lose 70 lbs. I started my diet August 1st, lost 5 lbs and over the weekend gained it all back. It's easy to become motviated in the beginning but when the 2nd week comes along and those cravings come along I have a hard time saying no. My diet currently consists of eating fruits and vegetables through the day, eating only healthy food when I get hungry, then for dinner making a balanced meal. So let's do this! Let's lose this freaking stupid ugly horrible depressing weight.